Nineteen, Catherine and Dean.

Way Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!!!

Birthday time. I can't believe how ridiculously early it is. My mum and dad go to work early, so mum came into my room this morning, bearing gifts, and gave me a cuddle, which is always nice, no matter what age you are (bar about 40, obviously, because thats just a bit weird).

Last night I went and got in the bath, and I found a magazine on the side of my Mums. It was Closer, which, incase you don't know, is filled with loads of stuff you don't want to know about Jordan (whom we have to call Katie Price now, because it makes her alot classier, and makes everyone forget she used to get her tits out), Kerry Katona, and such like. I also found a really interesting true story, about a Teen Mum.

Now, I always think people give teen mums quite a hard time. My mum turned 17 in the March, and had me in the April. I can't even comprehend how weird and hard that must have been, but she managed okay, and I've always had quite alot of respect for young mothers. This was before benefits kicked in, though. And the 14 year old in this article is a little benefit leaching ho bag, with an extremely interesting life thus far.

I couldn't help it, although this article pissed me off about the current state of the world, I was also in absolute hysterics about some of the quotes in it. I'll write some up on here, for your benefit ('scuse the pun):

'The former builder already has five children under 18 by three different partners, but doesn't pay child maintenance because he's been unable to work since suffering a groin injury' - Is this groin injury from the copious shagging he's been doing over the years? The man is 40, and claims to have slept with over 200 women. Well, if that doesn't get you going what will.

'They've already been evicted from one flat for not paying thier rent and claim that thier "human rights have been breached"' - All I can say to this is, 'fuck off'.

Now this is my second to favourite bit. Before Super Mum started her relationship with Dodgy 14 year old Dean, she was seeing a 29 year old at the age of thirteen. I'm not sure about you, but I'm pretty positive that qualifies as paedophilic.

This 29 year old though, that she was seeing, well I can see why she fell for the bloke, here we go:

'I met him when he was by the train station, where he was selling The Big Issue. He started talking to me and we had sex within weeks, despite his age. He refused to use contraception and I never questioned it as I didn't know better'

Are you thinking the same as me? I thought the Big Issue was, as one of the Big Issue sellers in Lincoln told me before I came home, 'the only magazine to help homeless people', and i'm pretty sure only homeless people sell it, to help themselves get back on thier feet. Did this girl just go and approach some homeless person? Seriously though - what the hell? 'Big issue? Is that a hint, love ;)' No. No NO no.

I'll wrap up my rant about Dean and Catherine now, but first, I have to put in this little bit, which proves that romance is not dead, so long as these two are together:

'We like spoiling each other - he takes me to the Beefeater restaurant and I've bought him a gold ring that spells out "Dean". We'll be together forever'

Well thats that then. Next time your fresh out of ideas for Valentines, lads, get yourself down to Beefeaters with your girlfreind, and if you're lucky, you may just be presented with four Fanta can bottoms stuck together, spelling out either your whole name, your initials, or simply the first four letters of your name, to remember her by. Next step, marriage and twins ;)

I'm really indecided on whether to go back to bed or not. It seems a bit pointless. I've already had my birthday breakfast. I was a bit unsure, when I was making it, as I put a bagel in the toaster, and realised we nothing to put on it but Paté. I thought 'Are people allowed to eat Paté in the morning? Is that PC?' Then I just threw caution to the wind and ate it anyway. Its my birthday. Lets go fucking mental.

I've got a cake and everything!! :)