We went out last night. God it was an abusive night. My freind Sam came down, and he got abused as the only boy out with us. My house mate hid his car keys in the oven this morning. It didn't confuse him much, he just looked like he wanted to throw up as he tried to think.
We got nicely drunk on some Lambrini; which as you all probably know is dirty.
The second part of abuse came in the queue. We had some pushers. Some posh bastards who thought they could muscle in because they were born with silver spoons in thier mouths and sticks up thier arses. Abby called them 'cock sucking motherfuckers'. I'm not joking.
The third portion of abuse came because we were dancing near some proper geeky guys for a laugh. And Abby asked them if they 'liked girls'. Thier answer was that they did, but they 'didn't like to pay for them'. Abby's answer to THAT, was a swift one to the face.
The fourth came because we stole some flowers, and a passer by said 'why have you ruined those flowers?'. The reply 'why have you ruined your hair'. We were probably asking for it really.
Sam eventually came home, fell up the stairs, and scared the life out of me.
My two funny things this blog. One isn't that funny. Someone has mashed up Michael Jackson and Patrick Swayze to come up with a track called 'Beat the Wind'. Laugh if you want, its okay.
http://hypem.com/track/907066/
Second funny thing, I was walking past my local fish and chip shop the other day, and I noticed a poster for a missing cat in it's window. This missing cat had a fantastically ironic name. Wait for it..
Scampi.
You don't believe me do you? I knew you wouldn't. It's fine, I brought proof:
There you have it sports fans. I'm pretty sure I know where the cat is. Lathered in salt and vinger and being eaten by the Lincoln equivalent of Jack and Vera Duckworth.
I'm off to spend my day, parked on the sofa, dying quietly, pretending I'm a detective by playing Sleuth online, and eating frazzles.
Peace x
No comments:
Post a Comment